I have a tendency to put myself last. I spend hours each day serving and teaching those I love; and coaching women to be their greatest selves.
At days end I sometimes feel depleted , worn and tired; having nothing left to give. At that point I am cranky and push off-ish. Often resenting homeschooling, homemaking and my place in life at times.
At the beginning of this year, mentally I was in a place of complete burnout. I hate to say it, but my thoughts somedays had me wanting to run away from my life and go live on a secluded island alone. Something had to give! I even started looking at public schools to place my children in.
After some accountability, honesty with myself and others and also asking for help, I formulated a “ME” plan. A strategic plan that laid out the areas I needed to delegate to someone else and the MUST DO actions I had to execute in order to remain SANE.
Essentially, I made room for me. There was no room in my schedule for me and I had begun to be suffocated by life and activities that had me just existing. Going from day to day, activity to activity, coaching session to coaching session not really stopping to breathe or ask myself what I needed or wanted.
This was my co-dependency in full effect. Co-dependents are masters at loving others and pouring out to the detriment of themselves.
So fast forward to March 1st. Nothing really about my schedule or life has changed, but I can breathe deeply. I no longer feel suffocated. Why? How? You may ask. Because I made room for me.
I blocked out non-negotiable time for me. Yoga 2-3 times a week at the YMCA, waking up early for prayer, meditation and of course COFFEE! : ) Telling my husband I can’t help him iron his shirts when he gets up late, because I NEED my time before the kids wake up. I Stop to ask myself in moments of frustration or irritation “what do YOU need in this moment Ashley”?!
Sometimes the answer is a snack. Others it’s a nap or a break. But I am taking the time to ask. Where as before, I would just press through a day never asking myself that. So I would run to Mr. Ben & Jerry’s (ice cream) or binge watch Netflix to ease my load.
I even delegated science class to my husband and also asked him to work from home 1 day a week so that during a lunch break he can monitor their studies.
This past Monday was the first day we implemented this plan. I relaxed for a few hours, did all my lessons with the kids from my bed and they had fun for science with their dad. At the end of the day, I felt a peace and rest inside that I haven’t felt in years!! I was so energized, that I went into the kitchen, prepped several meals for the week and even pre- made breakfasts for us and hubby. Oh I can’t forget I even baked my homemade granola!
Whew!! I was on a role. But non of that would’ve happened had I not made room for myself and advocated for what I needed to THRIVE.
I have my days, like we all do, but what I do know is I am finding inner peace and it feels damn good. (Sorry to all the saints, but no other word articulates what I feel!
So my question is, how are you going to make room for yourself? What needs to shift in order for YOU to thrive?
We cannot afford to be suffocated beneath responsibilities. We have to choose ourselves. When we do this, we have enough for everyone else!
Share with me how you are going to make room for you. I would love to hear!